the world is an unfriendly place.

So I pretty much have the gayest haircut in all of central auckland. Perhaps even greater auckland, I dunno, I'm not travelled enough to know.


I just had my third/second-to-last exam on writing and culture. My hand hurts from writing about Myspace and the multiple, fragmentated, decentralized 'self' for two hours. (I hope I did at least, I can never tell if I managed to write what I was meaning to write after an exam). Well... 1.5 hours really, .5 hours was spent 'planning,' scribbling, picking at my chipped nail polish, drumming on the desk annoying people around me, deciding how to make use of the next 1.5 hours, and mentally portioning my water so it would last me the two hours (not that it worked... I started to feel the effects of nature about 20 minutes into the exam, the last 100 minutes were sheer torture), and then looking around to see if other people had started writing yet - they had, so i panicked and started writing too.


I now have about 12 hours to study 10 chapters for my next exam, which I haven't even touched yet. I'm wondering why it didn't cross my mind to break up the 10 chapters over the past 4 days of doing nothing. That's not true, what have I been doing the last few days? Important things I think... such as planning the next 4 years of my life. Yup. I have the next 4 years of my life mapped out. I think. That's only coz I realized I will be studying for another 4 years... Minimum. I think. Let's say 'I think' just once more for good measure. I think. Pondering this is eating into my 12 hours.. but I can't seem to sit still without tapping or spasming... I guess that's the triple shot mocha kicking in.


12 hours. 10 chapters. So what is that... like 1 hour and 12 minutes on each chapter? Maths was never my best subject. Right, getting on it.



In the mean time, check out the Vatican's 10 Commandments for drivers. Keeping people on the 'road to salvation' - pretty serious business that.

1. You shall not kill.
2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
7. Support the families of accident victims.
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
10. Feel responsible toward others.

Getting on it...

400 years of silence is a long time.

I don't have any good original thoughts, so I'm just gonna keep stealing other's...

'We yearn for God's presence. We call to him. We scream at him. And we hear nothing. He answers our longings with silence. Sometimes his silence is unbearable[...]

These words were found scrawled on the wall of a concentration camp:

I believe in the sun, even though it doesn't shine,
I believe in love, even when it isn't shown,
I believe in God, even when he doesn't speak.

God's silence offers us the choice--faith or sight. We can either abandon our faith or learn to trust in the dark. God leaves that choice up to us. And all the while he's more interested in our faith in him than our ability to decipher his silences. The poet Coleman Barks wrote,
"The only way we know the play of destiny and free will is to
dance the mystery and die inside it."

Jesus, Job, David, and that man in the concentration camp danced the mystery. '

-Steven James in Story - recapture the mystery.

death is the final enemy.

"I am at an impasse, and you, O God, have brought me here. From my earliest days, I heard of you. From my earliest days, I believed in you. I shared in the life of your people: in their prayers, in their work, in their songs, in their listening for your speech and in their watching for your presence. For me your yoke was easy. On me your presence smiled.

Noon has darkened. As fast as she could say, "He's dead," the light dimmed. And where are you in this darkness? I learned to spy you in the light. Here in this darkness I cannot find you. If I had never looked for you, or looked but never found, I would not feel this pain of your absence. Or is it not your absence in which I dwell but your elusive troubling presence?

Will my eyes adjust to this darkness? Will I find you in the dark--not in the streaks of light which remain, but in the darkness? Has anyone ever found you there? Did they love what they saw? Did they see love? And are there songs for singing when the light has gone dim? The songs I learned were all of praise and thanksgiving and repentance. Or in the dark, is it best to wait in silence?"

-Nicholas Wolterstorff in Lament for a Son.

take till there's nothing left.

Christians are weird creatures.

What a weird bunch we are.
I'm not sure that I would listen to me if I wasn't a Christian...
or if I wasn't me. (yes please).

Spot the non-christian. [Hint: they're the ones that don't have their hands raised]

So while I'm feeling cynical and despondent, here you go guys. (I don't know where this is from.. I think somone at Masters gave it to me..)

10 STEPS OF FAKING SPIRITUALITY TO IMPRESS A GIRL:

1. During worship, raise your hands in the air, tilt your head slightly
upwards at a 30-degree angle, and close your eyes. It might pay to sing as well.
If need be, practice in front of the mirror.

2. Prophecy. Very spiritual. Ideally this would be in front of a whole
meeting, but just to a friend is fine, as long as the girl you are trying to
impress is watching. If you aren't actually a prophet, just read a nice psalm or
make something up that sounds appropriate.

3. Tell her you aren't interested in girls right now because you only want to
serve God (could backfire).

4. Be the first to go up for every 'serve God' altar-call, the last to leave,
and always shed a tear. Occasionally lie prostrate - weeping.

5. When you know she is looking, go talk to that new lonely guy at the back.

6. During a slow worship song when she is within ear range, quietly say, in
an emotional voice, "Jesus, Jesus, O praise you Jesus, Praise you." Do not shed
a tear though. Tears are for special occasions, such as 'love you Lord,' 'Serve
you,' & 'repentance' altar-calls.

7. Always take a long time with communion. Alternate each time between
sorrowful repentance and joyful celebration.

8. Write notes and frequently consult your Bible during sermon. Don't worry,
you don't actually have to listen; write anything you want, however do chuck in
the odd reference. Once a month actually listen, and afterwards, when she is
within hearing range, discuss your thoughts on the sermon with a friend.

9. Draw a line between spiritual and just plain weird. Do not:

• engage in flag dancing
• have spirit fingers
• randomly yell or scream
• fall over excessively. restrict yourself to 2 fall-overs a year, preferrably
  at camp

10. During worship, do what the song says. If it says to bow down, do so. If
it says to lift your hands, do so. Remember, faking spirituality is about being
genuine.