take till there's nothing left.

Christians are weird creatures.

What a weird bunch we are.
I'm not sure that I would listen to me if I wasn't a Christian...
or if I wasn't me. (yes please).

Spot the non-christian. [Hint: they're the ones that don't have their hands raised]

So while I'm feeling cynical and despondent, here you go guys. (I don't know where this is from.. I think somone at Masters gave it to me..)

10 STEPS OF FAKING SPIRITUALITY TO IMPRESS A GIRL:

1. During worship, raise your hands in the air, tilt your head slightly
upwards at a 30-degree angle, and close your eyes. It might pay to sing as well.
If need be, practice in front of the mirror.

2. Prophecy. Very spiritual. Ideally this would be in front of a whole
meeting, but just to a friend is fine, as long as the girl you are trying to
impress is watching. If you aren't actually a prophet, just read a nice psalm or
make something up that sounds appropriate.

3. Tell her you aren't interested in girls right now because you only want to
serve God (could backfire).

4. Be the first to go up for every 'serve God' altar-call, the last to leave,
and always shed a tear. Occasionally lie prostrate - weeping.

5. When you know she is looking, go talk to that new lonely guy at the back.

6. During a slow worship song when she is within ear range, quietly say, in
an emotional voice, "Jesus, Jesus, O praise you Jesus, Praise you." Do not shed
a tear though. Tears are for special occasions, such as 'love you Lord,' 'Serve
you,' & 'repentance' altar-calls.

7. Always take a long time with communion. Alternate each time between
sorrowful repentance and joyful celebration.

8. Write notes and frequently consult your Bible during sermon. Don't worry,
you don't actually have to listen; write anything you want, however do chuck in
the odd reference. Once a month actually listen, and afterwards, when she is
within hearing range, discuss your thoughts on the sermon with a friend.

9. Draw a line between spiritual and just plain weird. Do not:

• engage in flag dancing
• have spirit fingers
• randomly yell or scream
• fall over excessively. restrict yourself to 2 fall-overs a year, preferrably
  at camp

10. During worship, do what the song says. If it says to bow down, do so. If
it says to lift your hands, do so. Remember, faking spirituality is about being
genuine.